Being cheated on can be really devastating, no one prays for his or her partner to cheat on them but when it does happen, one‘s world will come crashing down and you will start blaming yourself, you will start wondering what you did wrong for your partner to cheat on you.
After you find out that you have been cheated on, a lot of things can feel overwhelming like how to address your partner and how to handle the situation.
I know how it feels to be cheated on, how it feels to feel has if you are not worth anything and is why I compiled this list of tips on how to forgive your partner when you have been cheated on
1. Express how you are feeling to someone you trust
Don’t hold on to your feelings because if you do it will eat at you and that will just get you more depressed. You need to let it out, talk to someone you trust very much it can be your best friend or your parents anyone as long as you trust them and if you feel you don’t want to talk to your family and friends then you can seek the help of a therapist.
2. Accept that you can not change the past
If your partner cheats on you don’t hold it against him/her because if you do it will not solve anything and you might frustrate your partner, so matter what happens just know that you can’t change the past.
3. Embrace your pain
Don’t push away the pain, don’t lock it in a deep corner of your heart just because you can’t deal with it. Embrace the pain, feel it do whatever you have to do get it out of your system, whenever I have some emotions I want out of my system I cry about it. So if crying is what works for you and if it is breaking things or cleaning things then go for it, just embrace the pain and let it go and if you decide to hold on to the pain, it will get you even more depressed.
4. Don’t make major decisions
Don’t make major decisions in a haste, for example, if you are married and your partner cheats on you and upon finding out you immediately decide you want a divorce. Don’t do that, take time to think about what you want and please don’t make a decision that you will regret.
5. Blame no one
Don’t blame anyone for what happened, Ya I know it’s human nature for us to look for someone to blame for whatever happens to us if we don’t blame someone else we will blame ourselves. I don’t want you to blame yourself for what happened it wasn’t fault.
6. Take care of yourself
Just because your partner cheated on you doesn’t mean you should neglect yourself, take time off for yourself and give your partner some space so that the both of you can think on what your next to do, if you want to stay with your partner or you want leave.
7. Talk to your Partner
After you have taken time for yourself, the next move is to talk to your partner, listen to their side of the story. Be honest with each other because if the both of you aren’t honest with each other, it will cause more problems, talk about what is next move forward, if the both of you want to continue the relationship or maybe its time to move.
8. Seek Counseling
After you and your partner have decided on what to do next and the both of you decide to stay together and resolve the issue and start trusting each other again then the first step is to seek counseling. Going for couples counseling can be really helpful toward rebuilding trust in your relationship.
9. Make sure your partner is committed
Your relationship won’t work if you are the only one making the effort to make it work, make sure your partner is committed now am not saying you should start monitoring your partner’s every move but just make sure he/she is committed to making the relationship work, you can ask once in a while if your partner is committed.
10. Have an Open Communication
If you and your partner really want the relationship to work then you need to have an open communication relationship whereby the both of you tell each other what is on your mind, this way if one of you has issue with the other you can openly discuss it with each other and there will not any secret in your relationship.
11. Work on improving your relationship
Do what you can to improve your relationship with your partner, try being there for each other. Try to be understanding with your partner it will go a long way in your relationship, whatever you do trust your partner (that is if your partner is ready to change).
12. Don’t Obsess and let it go
Don’t obsess over what happened with your partner, it’s all in the past let the past stay in the past and look for ways to move forward with your partner.
Whatever feelings you may still have about your partner cheating on you let it go, in this life people who hold on to the past will never move forward why? Because they never let go of whatever caused them pain, so for your relationship to work you need to stop obsessing over the past and let it all go forgive your partner and mean it then look to the future for better things come.
13. Take it a day at a time
Working on rebuilding a relationship is never easy and rushing things in your relationship will never get you anywhere, it will take time and effort for the relationship to get back to how it was and how you want it to be.